Warning : Boring 'someone else's dream' blabber ahead
I dreamed last night that I was out in space. And as is the way with dreams I have no idea what kind of physical body I was inhabiting, if I was inhabiting one at all. I was clearly not a human body floating in the darkness, not an astronaut nor even an alien, but more like a kind of 'me eye' - just a looking viewing consciousness which was attached to my own individuality. I was looking down on Earth. As the big old me eye sat bobbing amongst the stars it couldn't help but notice how much the Earth looked like a tiny glass ball with a living micro-dot at its center.
The atmosphere around the Earth was SO clean, so fragile and so inexplicably delicate, like the thinnest of hand blown glass. 'I' felt astounded by this, how completely exposed, alone and terribly vulnerable we are, how it is the most unique and unusual of circumstances that this tiny ball of life, like a wee frog's egg in a vast empty pond, has managed to survive for as long as it has, the right amount of distance from the sun, with the right amount of gravitational pull from the moon, with the right amount of extraordinarily thin atmosphere around its skies and body to provide life for the minute little ball of creature that lies within.
And the me eye felt a deep lonely sadness. A thought that life possibly does exist somewhere out there in the universe. But the feeling that if life does exist somewhere out there......it is surely gazillions of billions of millions of light years, down trillions of black holes for which no map will ever exist, across exploded stars and outside the shell of everything that we know, away. Because the overriding feeling 'I' experienced was of how tiny this delicate ball was, and how vastly huge and endless 'I' and space were.
I am not saying this is a new realisation. I know that millions and billions of people, time immemorial, have had these kinds of experiences. It is just that I was able to experience it fully within my dream and I woke up feeling an incredible but sad sense of awe. And a lonely vastness. No wonder I suffer from periodic bouts of existential angst!
2 comments:
As a dream analysist, I would say.....its a dream about your feeling of isolation in South Korea.....and you are the one vulnerable......and you are the one with the bigger intellectual pictre........would you agree?
It's a very Michael Jackson "Heal the World" dream too don't you think?
It wasn't a feeling of isolation tho.....I think it was really an existential angst dream, but minus the angsty feeling and plus the awesome life/creation feeling. I don't feel isolated here!!
It is a heal the worldy kind of dream!! yeah!! haha! But I had it before he died.
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