Twenty Little Poetry Projects

1. The TV is a cantankerous old man, yelling
the same bored ideas over and over, I tell him I don't kare what Nik did to Kursty, but don' shuddup ol' man!

2. Inside of us we all know that the dead float in a comical mask amidst someone else's lost jandals and togs

3. my eyes are tacky paua, kauri clocks from the kauri kingdom in Ahipara, the last little town before the cape. We could stop and get a limp pie and the worlds biggest orange choc-chip ice cream

4. I taste the icing covered houses, licking their scalloped rococo-pink - a marzipan of nausea right before a too hot bath

5. Johnny Depp! How dare you break up with your Frenchy. How dare you marry a fox-eyed skeleton in the first place. Don't you know it's cool to love fat girls? Haven't you heard of the Vogue Health Initiative?

6. I start to have sex with the elderly, gently setting aside his walking frame, laying him down and making up for lost time

6. But the dead are also riding fat horses and smiling like they're auditioning for a Colgate ad. How I used to think Are your maclean's showing was are you a clean sho-lene. Clean westies? On horses? They do like death metal, though

7. but horses always look healthy, even if the rider has been dead for years, stuck by spur to the stirrup

8. Giz a hoon! Giz a hoon on your missus I wanna do some damage ride her hard like a ford escort up customs street see how she squeals when the rubber burns. Giz a hoon bra!

9. because we sometimes feel powerful we think about dolphins in the supermarket and because we sometimes don't, we don't.

10. He called me bulreoteulttae Piggy, in a breath of flowers in my heart chakra pieonatda

11. the archaic elephant of love steps heavily upon all mundane things, crushes most of them to dust

12. and we were as sexy as the seatoun presbyterian congregation on a hot sunday.

13. so at the whiteboard I draw complex algebraic equations with the end of my janitors mop, while a boardroom of corporate psychopaths 'get told' how it is via skype. A mouthpiece for all the dumb baby seals - a vicarious blue collar hero I am.

14. Maggie Magpie has a fat ass when she runs, her purple and green polka dot tights new from Italy won't hide that, even though she's only 9.

15. And ... when all the dolphins are dead they will make a tasty pie, and the tasty pie shall be shared amongst all the children, and long kept marine mammalian secrets shall be revealed. Such as we always knew what you were saying and we rape, just like you. Childhood obesity will be the secrets ruse.

16. and sweetheart-coloured jellyfish will decorate the disco hall with lights, and you can preload your Missisipi moonshine in the linoleum stalls before the dance, before the girls wait on one side and the boys on the other.

17. In order to be free I must drink protein shakes and meditate on my g-spot chakra 

18.  그가 내게 꽃 돼지라고 불럿을때, 내 가슴 속 차크라 안에 숨쉬는 꽃이 피어났다 (but the chakra in my heart grew when he called me flower-pig)

19. The flowers (I) haven't had sex with a bee (a guy) in ages (8 months), probably because they're plastic, and so they hang their heads forlornly.

20. And the elephant thunders on, dragging the world's bric-a-brac behind it in long pretty lines.

3. Oscar Wilde said 'With freedom, books, flowers, and the moon, who could not be happy?', so .... what's he saying? He callin' the home-shopping network is a liar?